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How to flirt your way through the festive season

This is going to sound a bit big headed, but I’m going to say it anyway. I’ve always been pretty darn good at flirting. It’s not like I studied it, or that it’s something I’m particularly proud of. It just came naturally, this ability to broadcast non-verbal signals to members of the opposite sex. In fact, this skill (can I call it a skill?) has come in handy on more than one occasion, landing me as it has a string (well, two or three, at least) of quite fine fellows.

Indeed, relationship experts believe the ability to toy with the opposite sex can not only help lead you to Mr (or Ms) Right, it can also boost your self confidence in the process.

But if your flirting skills aren’t up to much, or your knees go weak at the thought of communicating socially with a member of the opposite sex, now could be the time to brush up on your skills and learn how to flirt successfully.

With the festive season about to kick off in all its mistletoe-kissing, Christmas-party glory, not only will you have plenty of time to practice, but you could enter the new year with a much-needed boost to your self esteem. Here are five steps to help you shrug off any lingering doubt, and flirt your way to success.

1. Lose the fear

Approaching flirting with confidence is key to its success, but a lot of people struggle when it comes to chatting to someone they’re attracted to.

In a recent interview, Melbourne-based ‘love coach’ and author of The Fabulous Flirt’s Handbook, Sandy Ewing said a lack of confidence is like putting up a physical barrier. “For someone with low self-esteem, the best bet is to ‘fake it till you make it’,” she says.

Another tactic is to look at flirting as nothing more than getting to know more about someone you like.

2. Open for business

Whilst a lack of confidence can limit a person’s opportunities, unless you signal you’re available and interested, it’s likely you won’t get very far. According to Ewing, if a woman is being playful, a man will feel more comfortable approaching.

“Smiling is the easiest way to attract a man’s attention,’ she says. ‘Look his way, smile and hold the gaze for a fraction longer than you normally would. Wait a moment, then follow up with a second glance in his direction.’

There are other gestures that subliminally signal your intentions, so it pays to be aware…just in case you find yourself doing them in front of someone you’re not in the least bit interested in. Exposing your wrists, playing with your hair and licking your lips are all likely to signal you’re happy for a man to approach.

3. Compliment your crush

Once you’re talking, there are two main rules: compliment your crush early-on, and try not to talk about yourself too much. Oh, and keep the cheesy chat-up lines to yourself – they never work.

Whilst it’s common to want to talk about yourself when you meet someone new, keep in mind you’re only doing this because you feel uncomfortable and it’s the easier path to take. It won’t get you very far, however. For guaranteed flirting success, turn the tables and encourage the other person about themselves.

Throwing in a compliment early on will also signal you’re interested in the other person, so be bold, and tell them what it is you like about them – but beware, don’t over-compliment – your words will become meaningless.

4. Use your body

Did you know that when it comes to communicating, only 7% is done through words, the rest is made up of body language (55%) and the tone of your words (38%).

Actions, it seems, really do speak louder than words, so maintain eye contact, smile, and lean into the other person.

5. Know when to leave

Knowing when to leave could mean the difference between a one-off tête à tête and a longer-lasting dalliance. Leaving the other person wanting more – before the conversation goes stale – is the key, so wrap it up when you’re sure you’re both having fun. But not before you tell the other person how much fun you’ve had.

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About the Author

Lizzy has more than ten years’ experience in the print and digital publishing arena and is the Editor at Single File. Having moved from the UK to Australia in 2008, Lizzy has worked for a number of leading publishers in Sydney and has particular expertise in the health, wellness and travel markets. If you have any questions for Lizzy, you can send them across by email to

One Response to How to flirt your way through the festive season

  1. Brian says:

    Practice and experience pays off. You have great flirting tips here, keep i t up.

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