Dating phone sex

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Here’s my number, so call me, maybe

..and, if you do call, how about we indulge in some phone sex? Because you don’t have to meet in the flesh to get a little frisky – these days it’s less about oral, and more about aural. In fact, a recent survey revealed a whopping 85% of men want the woman in their life to talk dirty to them over the phone.

Bestselling author and certified sex educator, Lou Paget, believes phone sex is an important tool in becoming a great lover and, for those starting out on a relationship or for couples separated by distance, the phone can easily become the ultimate sex toy.

But, if you’re a phone sex virgin, taking the first step to aural pleasure can be intimidating. According to Anne Hooper, author of Great Sex Games, foreplay is just as important when it comes to phone sex, and that starts by getting in the mood.

‘Dim the lights, sip some wine and curl up with a dirty novel,’ she advises. Then, when you’re feeling ready, reach for the phone.

Rather than worrying about becoming awkwardly tongue tied, Paget’s advice is to guide each other verbally – tell each other what you’d like to be doing… and why. But don’t let the conversation become one sided. ‘Phone sex is about maintaining the intimacy and sexuality you share,’ Paget says. ‘Make sure you both contribute.’

Gloria Brame, author of Come Hither, believes phone sex provides the ultimate means of exploring your partner’s sense of adventure. ‘Things you may be too inhibited to ask face-to-face suddenly start to roll off your tongue,’ she says. So take the opportunity to find out what each is dying to do to the other. Exploring fantasies can result in more adventurous sexual exploits when you meet in the flesh.

But phone sex isn’t all talk and no action. When your conversation reaches boiling point, it’s time to get hands on. ‘Having phone sex without mutual masturbation is like cooking a meal and not allowing yourself the pleasure of eating it,’ says Brame, who recommends encouraging your partner to give you instructions as to where and how to place your hands.

These days, smart phone users can ramp up the aural experience thanks to video-calling technology such as Skype and FaceTime. According to Amber Madison, author of Hooking Up: A Girl’s All Out Guide To Sex and Sexuality, adding a web cam to the phone sex experience adds a real-time visual element to what’s happening, and might make it easier for some women to get into.

‘After all that instruction, when you finally are together, he’ll know exactly what you wish he’d do to you,’ she says.

What about you – do you enjoy phone sex or are you too intimidated? How do you break the ice?

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About the Author

Lizzy has more than ten years’ experience in the print and digital publishing arena and is the Editor at Single File. Having moved from the UK to Australia in 2008, Lizzy has worked for a number of leading publishers in Sydney and has particular expertise in the health, wellness and travel markets. If you have any questions for Lizzy, you can send them across by email to

One Response to Here’s my number, so call me, maybe

  1. Pingback: Here’s my number, so call me maybe | Lizzy Wood

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