Life Coach Why mates matter

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Why mates matter

Unlike our parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, throughout our lives we are fortunate enough to be able to pick our friends. Some friendships will come and go, others will be fraught with ups and downs, whilst still others will sail along with little maintenance. But no matter which personalities you count as pals, friendships can make all the difference on this ride called life.

Most of us thrive when we feel like we belong. Being loved and needed can sustain us through hard times, and lift us to even higher heights when life is going well. But just like any relationship, friendships need work; can often turn sour; and sometimes are downright unhealthy.

Perhaps the best way of getting the most out of your mateships, is to know how to be a good friend yourself. According to Relationships Australia, ‘Even when a relationship is going well, it is important that you still put effort into it and don’t take the relationship for granted. Be aware of what you need in a relationship as well as what other people need. This way, your relationships have the best chance of growing and continuing to be strong and healthy.’

So, regardless of whether yours is a friendship that needs constant attention, or one where you simply pick up where you left off, take a look at these helpful tips for maintaining your mates.

1. Understand their point of view

A change of job, or in their own family circumstances can leave your best friend tied up and unavailable, unable to attend your strict, weekly catch up. Being sympathetic to their point of view can help you realise that any change to your friendship routine is not personal, and avoid unnecessary conflict.

2. Date your mate 

There’s nothing like one on one time. Show your mate how much they mean to you by having a date when you can.

3. Throw out the rulebook

No one friendship looks the same, so don’t worry if yours doesn’t conform to any supposed ‘standard’. It doesn’t matter how often you see each other if your friendship is healthy and happy. Understanding this will help!

4. Attention to detail

How did you feel the last time your friend forgot your birthday, or that you had an important job interview. If you have a tendency to forget the small stuff, make a note of regular events like birthdays, and be sure to listen to all the detail next time you chat, so you can ensure your friend knows you care.

How do you maintain your friendships? What tips can you share with us?

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About the Author

Lizzy has more than ten years’ experience in the print and digital publishing arena and is the Editor at Single File. Having moved from the UK to Australia in 2008, Lizzy has worked for a number of leading publishers in Sydney and has particular expertise in the health, wellness and travel markets. If you have any questions for Lizzy, you can send them across by email to

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  1. Pingback: Women win when it comes to making friends | Single File

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